amo dalje
13.12.2006., srijeda
prica o cipelicama koje hodaju svijetom...
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sve sto vide su druge cipelice, cipele, velike, male, sarene, lijepe, ruzne, drugacije, iste, neoprane, ciste, blistave, visoka peta, niska peta, cizme, s vezicama, bez njih... I znale su da cipele nisu same po sebi bit, najvazniji dio; znale su da su dio necega, izabrane od nekoga, samo dio NECEG VECEG... I pomirile su se s tim, i vjeruju u to, i u osobu koja ih nosi; znaju da su mali dio neke vece i vaznije price; i slozile su se s tim, to ih je veselilo, jer su one nekog veselile. Zivjele su svoje zivote znajuci da velike stvari bez njih ne bi bile iste, i zbog toga su bile VAZNE! I za njih su njihove male misli, mala druzenja, mala videnja svijeta bila vazna... JER SU I ONE BILE VAZNE... I da, nase cipelice su puno putovale, puno vidjele, puno znale... Iako realno su znale da je lako bit pametan medu glupima, lako je vidjeti puno medu cipelama koje ne vide skoro nista... Ali su se trosile, i umarale prije... A ono sto nikada nisu zaboravljale je da ih NETKO nosi. Da netko stoji na njima, da ih netko gazi. Znale su da sve sto treba je pogledati gore, u zrak, i da je beskonacnost blizu... Ali nisu se mogle dignuti, nisu znale letjeti, nisu imale ruke da se podignu, niti noge da stanu na njih. Znale su da postoji vise., ali su ostale na manje, jer jednostavno nisu znale KAKO... Misli su bile izvan kvadrata, a one zauvijek unutar njega... I jednog dana su pocele pustati kisu i vodu i snijeg, pocele su se raspadati, prvo su ih sve rijede nosili i zatvarali u neka tamna mjesta s puno drugih cipela koje su nesto cekale, neku promjenu, neki dogadaj; pitale su se jesu li ih zaboraili ili sto su im to ucinili... Jedan dan su ponovno bile obuvene, po suncu su setale, oprostile su sve... ali kisa je opet pala a one su se vec skoro skroz raspale, sve im je postajalo tesko, sve ih je boljelo... i bile su odbacene, bacene, u smecu... TEK TAKO... Prestale su biti dio neceg velikog, neceg vaznog... i postale su i ostale NISTA... |
11.12.2006., ponedjeljak
cudno je...
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cudno je... tako si me lako nasmijao... nedostaje mi ny... da bar ima nacin, bar na koji dan... cudno je... primjetila sam da se bojim pisat... ne samo na blog, tu se jako bojim, nego i za sebe, ko da cu previse rec i iz toga nesto shvatit... cudno je... mislim da sam malo zeznula stvar... valjda ce se rijesit... probudila sam nesto davno uspavano, i onako je bilo bolje, ili lakse... nekad prije bi i probala, sad je besmisleno... kako puno govorimo kroz sutnju... cudno je... stize, dolazi, priblizava se... mislila sam da to vrijeme nikad nece proc, a sad kad je tu mi je preblizu... cudno je... kako vrijeme samo od sebe sve rijesi... samo moram nauciti biti strpljiva i ne inzistirati, nego cekati... cudno je... kako nikako u tome ne mogu nauciti na vlastitim greskama... kako sam u biti prozirna kad su ljudi u pitanju... ne ocekujem, ali se nadam... kroz apstrakciju... cudno je... i hvala ti... i oprosti... i kao da samo provjeravam granice, i prelazim ih... a onda povratka nema... ps.drugi put ce cipelice dosetati pss.mislim da je to to, pod istim nebom, na istom ˝covjeku˝, jedno muskarac, drugo zena... i znaju se i razumiju se iako ni jedno to ne govori... |
12.11.2006., nedjelja
...
28.10.2006., subota
yeee...
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danas je taj dan... sto vise reci?! danas je dan mog rodenja... divan dan, divan dan... (bar za mene, za okolinu nisam uvijek sigurna =) ) mama, HVALA TI.. i onom nekom hvala na najljepsem poklonu... ozdravila sam... =)) |
08.10.2006., nedjelja
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
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ne mogu vjerovati koliko je proslo od mog zadnjeg posta na ovom blogu... otkad sam otvorila odoja.blog.hr u potpunosti sam zanemarila ovaj... lose...  mislim da ovdje vise nitko ni ne zalazi =) nije da je netko i dolazio =) sve vam je jasno kad sam tek sad uspjela primjetiti neke zbilja stare komentare... zao mi je  evo, sutra je novi dan... i faks mi pocinje... napisala sam i svoju prvu recenziju... i to jednog portala... filozofija.org... i to za potrebe faksa (tj.casopisa stujenata filozofije hrvatskih studija- Scopus)... sad sam napisala i sta studiram (soc i to)... opet lose ...mogla bi to i objavit... drugi put... poz, R |
20.07.2006., četvrtak
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Pozdrav svima, ne zelim vam upropastiti ljeto ali evo nekoliko pisama od prijatelja iz Libanona koji su kroz nekoliko dana trebali biti u Hrvatskoj i obilaziti obalu kao sto su neki od nas s njima nedavno obilazili Libanon. Nazalost, sve se promijenilo! Koliko....procitajte dolje..ovo nisu njihova pisma namjenjena siroj publici nego pisma prijateljima koje smo izvukli iz konteksta pa jasnije mozete vidjeti kakva je situacija. Inace, Tarek je osoba koja se ponudila da organizira predstavljanje Hrvatske u Bejrutu na fakultetu. Ova tri pisma su i dokaz da nije moguce podjeliti ljude samo po religiji ili politickoj pripadnosti jer ovo troje su po oba kriterija totalno razliciti... Peace is Dead...Long live the Pieces Dear familia i read all of your emails to my account and yours posts and they werei interesting (especially the ones asking if i was dead...c'mon guys!).. Rola hobbi i as the rest of us have been trying to call you for days but to no avail until i was updated on your situation by Andro (of all people!!) and he told me you were out fo Saida. thank god. TO clear things up a bit, before everyone goes insane, The wheat silos were not hit but the radar on top of them was, andf they have not been in use for decades so that is not our biggest problem. Zeina habibi tell your US military freind to take his predictions and shove them up his blow hole. :) what we have here is a cleansing to get rid once and for all the Hizbullah threat on Israel. everybody this war is gonna be LONG and i am talking MONTHS here so get out while you can. It is time to stop being fucking polite, and say things as they are. In truth, most Lebanese discussions that are not taking place in refuggee camps are expressing that the Israeli army (notice i make the distinction between army and people, unlike the distinction made between Hizbullah and the Lebanese government) and Hizbullah can wipe each other out, with many hating both equally and sometimes hizbullah much more. whispers are circulating that the next thing to go after hzbullah (if that ever happens) is Syria which i'm afraif has more than a few people excited. i am currently acting as a translator for the BBC crew going around Lebanon talking with the refugees, i am not going to the south or the suburbs but the humanitarian condition is awful and there is no bread,milk, diapers or medicine in so many fo the areas and the Israeli blockade and road destruction stops all these supllies form reachign their destination. some food trucks and hospital vans can no longer function because of the price and lack of fuel. it is true Hizbullah made the first pinch, but Israel's reaction is RIDICULOUS. forget stupid speeches, WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY TARGET A FIRE DEPARTMENT, AN ESCAPING VAN FULL OF CHILDREN (17 DEAD), AND FUCKING FUEL TANKS IN THE AIRPORT (the airport is shot to shit the fuel would benefit no one) My freinds it is with a heavy heart that i inform you that Israel does not plan to invade us to flush out hizbullah by it's soldiers, if it did it would not have destroyed every bridge in the country, the same bridges it would have to use to get in. it is now quite clear Israel wishes to bury Hizbullah with Lebanese debris with a full scale artillery attack, obviously taking out 10 Lebanese lives for every Israeli life, and not caring who and what gets effected. This is my third war in my short 23 years, and somethign tells me it will not be the last. i am escaping to the mountains again the noises in Beirut are unbearable. talk to you guys as soon as i can. much love Tarek |
nemam rijeci...
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svi ste valjda culi sto se dogada u Libanonu... Nisam mislila pisati tu o tome, ali kada sam ovo primila, jednostavno sam morala objavit... Postoji jedna mala udruga SAPA, koja izmedu ostalog ima i jos manje hrv.-libanonsko drustvo. Ono je nastalo slucajnim prijateljstvom izmedu nekolicine mladih ljudi iz hrv. sa nekim ljudima iz Libanona, i nakon posjeta (prosle god) toj predivnoj drzavici, ti mladi su osnovali to drustvo i probali tu divnu zemlju pribliziti ostalima... Prvo pismo je od cure koja zivi u sjeverno Bejrutu, dok je drugo od cure koja danas konvojem prelazi granicu sa Sirijiom (nadamo se). Zivila je u juznom gradu Saidi koji je potpuno unisten. Rola, I don't know how much my words can ease the situation you are faced with, I don't know whether my words have any credibility to you since I am faced with much the same situation as you …I live in Northern Beirut and I haven't slept for days now because of the bombings in Southern Beirut…The sound is so loud, so close, the people are fleeing and asking for help… But as you said: WE REFUSE TO DIE! Israel is no more launching a war on Hizballah rather a war on the Lebanese people, military bases are being attacked, the red cross who is trying to reach wounded civilians, is being targeted….Lebanon is blockaded and there is no way food, fuel and any kind of help could reach the people…Is this human? The international community is turning a blind eye on what is going on, I don't know whether on purpose or because they are not truly seeing what is happening. But you know what Rola, the Lebanese people have endured much harsher situations than this one:15 years of civil war, 18 years of Israeli occupation and war and 30 years of Syrian Occupation. The Lebanese people's courage and belief is unprecedented. Pope Jean Paul II during his visit to Lebanon years ago said that Lebanon is more than a country, it is a message to the world, a message because of the different religious communities coexisting together. It is a message to the world of how Sunnis, Shiites, Druzes, Maronites, Catholics, Orthodox, Jews, Protestants, Evangelicals etc..can live together peacefully, each maintaining its beliefs and traditions but respecting those of others. When I watch the news and see people dying or crying for having lost loved ones, when I go to areas and try to save a lost soul, my heart breaks into pieces and my tears start to fall… but then again when I see how Christians are helping the Sunnis and Shiites, how the Sunnis and Druzes are helping the Shiites and other way around, how everyone opened their houses to forced migrants, my faith and hope grow stronger… It grows stronger because I see how my country is so special, so strong in its ethics and morals…. Rola, it is true that Lebanon is being destroyed completely. Israel has destroyed all the infrastructure, has forced people out of their homes, leaving them with no means to survive…more than hundreds have died and there are till now 350 wounded…no one can replace these souls…It took years for Lebanon to rebuild Beirut and all areas after being tore apart by the civil war and we will rebuild it this time! We must never lose hope and faith in God… I don't know what will happen to me tomorrow, what will happen to my family, my friends, my home, my land…. I may be the target of an attack since there is no more a safe place in Lebanon. It is being attacked from the South to the North…all I know is that the truth will remain….the truth of what happened to this small and wonderful country that I am proud of. Jesus' first miracle happened in Qana (South) and the first alphabet was written in Lebanon… It is the land of civilizations…and IT SHALL REMAIN! I Hope the world will learn from what is happening and stops wars and aggressions… I hope that the Israelis and Arabs will see that their conflicts and interests tear apart the dreams and hopes of their people…I accept to be a lesson for the outside world for the cause of peace and humanity. Never lose hope and as Martin Luther King used to say : "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." To all of you my friends, IIPES was so special...I hope you will always carry our voices... People are never to be blamed rather their governments... Pascale > just minutes earlier a volunteer passed by the house am staying in in > a village east of Saida to write down our names on a list to organize > the distribution of aids(food water ...e.t.c) and just then i realized > i became a "mhajjara" literaly ttranslated to mean "forced migrant".> i have heard this term alot in talks about the lebanese war 15 years > ago and never in my life i thought i'd become one.> i am tired i haven't slept in days i am on the verge of a nervous > breakdown...yes, it happens when you realize you are not being > considered as a human being anymore, but a mere bitter number.> > 113 dead, 100's injured, and tens of thousands "mhajjareen", all > roads, bridges ports and our only airport bombed from south to the > farthest north..all alond the border with syria is being bombed> complete blockage. just now an israeli general stated that> they are ready to bomb any institution related to Hizballah> where ever it was and most are between or near civilian suburbs and> villages...the only thing i can understand is that "we don't care> how many motherfucking civilans we kill, we want to complete our> mission, wipe out hizballah" , forgive my language but war is ugly> and bitter and cruel and i will not attempt to make it look or sound> any better than it really is, not in my language not in my post...> yet again the war of forgeiners fought on our country... war of> isreal with syria and iran is fought on lebanese grounds,> and yet again lebanon has to pay the incomprehensible price> of blood and destruction..> there are no words that can descreibe the destruction, roads i've> beent o almost everyday places i was there..don't exist anymore..> it's turning into one huge ghost town,> there is absolutely no movement in my city Saida, all shops> are closed, everyone either fled or like my Grandparents> refuse to leave their homes and would rather die in them, fuel> staions are emptying from fuel after the bombing of two> fuel stations on the borders of saida...and when i say borders > it's not a far place it's a couple of kilometers from my house > since distances are negligible in such a small country as lebanon.> i enlisted my name on a list of people who want to leave teh country> when things calm down a littel and it is safe to move around..> i don't think it is anytime soon....> things are getting worse everyday, israeli airplanes are throwing > papers village after village asking the people to evacuate,> in an attempt to stress on hizballah> i don't understand how that is possible when allll transportaion> is down, the only way is to flee on foot kilometers carrying > their belongings, or stay and face their fates...> a genocide happened yesterday when 23 vilagers frrom "Merwaheen"> a village int he south fled to seek refuge in a UN center and the> UN center refused to accept them, afraid that the 1996 genocide> of "Qana" may repeat itself..(anyone and i know most don't know about > it,thanks to israeli propaganda, google it) the poor villagers> were left in open air as they were going back to their homes> and were met by an israeli missile, all dead.> > it's turning into an extermination plan...there is absolutely> no considerations for any form of human rights..no consideration > for people's lives..this is israel's war with hizballah> why are inocents being killed? why am i sleeping everyday> to the fading sound of israeli f16 and sounds of explosions?> i can't understand and i don't want to understand it..> why are civilians attacked and why are israeli's using> phosphorus bombs (i don't know what the hell they are, and> am not interested, but i know they are internationally banned> weapons)> isreal's response to the kidnapping of it's soldiers is completely> exaggerated, i can't think of any word to explain the destruction> going on here...it's brutal and inhuman and nothing, nothing > anyone can say or do can justify such a response...> there is so much going on, so many things i want to say> but at this moment i am drained...> everything i learnt and believed in IIPES about any attempts for > peace with israel fell into the water along with my hopes and dreams> of having a country of livi9ng in peace of opening a family> business in my home city of raising my children in the place where> i grew up......> all i see now is destruction and bitterness and fear and loath> and all i can think of is survival..it's not a matter of not wanting> to die, but a matter of refusing to die for such reasons..> > bear with me such a bitter post, but it is the truth, bare and solid> and just as it is, and truth hurts..> > love to you all including israelis Rola- |
17.07.2006., ponedjeljak
pozdrav
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evo jedan mali post da se mogu malo hvalit... 27. ovog mjeseca odo ja u New York... moram priznat da nije prvi grad na popisu mojih zelja ili prioriteta za otic u njega, ali ne zalim se... stovise silno se veselim... kada ti se pruzi prilika poput ove, to se ne propusta... bila sam poprilicno zalosna sto idem bas usred ljeta za koje sam imala silne planove po nasem moru, ali s obrizom na okolnosti (mononukleoza je dosta toga zeznula) ispalo je i vise nego dobro... vracam se tek 20.8. tako da bi mi to trebalo bit dosta vremena-ni previse, ni premalo... a opet kad se vratim mozda i naseg mora malo vidim eto odo ja pa  poz |
20.06.2006., utorak
bez naslova molim
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ne znam sta se dogada... svasta... al´nemam potreba pisat, pa odlucih ne ici protv sebe i jednostavno sacekat... do pisanja... poz |
07.06.2006., srijeda
ko je reko viroze...
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ne mogu sad bas pisat, pada noc pa mi je opet sve losije... ko je reko da su viroze zakon-NEMA POJMA... taj jos nije probao ovo sto ja imam... dakle-snasla me mononukleoza- 10 dana sam bila u bolnici i sad sam opet napokon doma! pisat cu vam super dogodovstine iz bolnice, al prvo moram napisat super strane ove bolesti: godinu dana ne smijem piti (9 mjeseci minimalno ako ocu sacuvat jetru-a hocu) 6 mjeseci se ne smijem bavit sportom, niti smijem imat ikakve fizicke napore(3 mjeseca min ako hocu sacuvat jetru-a hocu) 1,5 mjeseci moram lezat (-II-) imam konstantno temperaturu, slaba sam, jedva su me pustali da idem sama ne wc boli me grlo, ne mogu pit/jest a tjeraju me (-II-) ..... ZAKLJUCAK: ako mozete drz´te se podalje od b.b.b-a=bolnice, bolesti i baba (baba jer su one najcesce s vama u sobi u bolnici) p.s.uz sve to prpast ce mi pola planova za ljeto i sretna vijest: jos ne planiram samoubojstvo :) stovise mislim da se dobro drzim =) pozdrav, Cvet |
